Steps 1 and 12: Growing up in my Recovery by Strengthening Myself and Others

This week, I am working Step 1 and Step 12.  I have two, not one, new sponsees.  And I really want to do a good job, for me, for them, and to be a credit to my sponsor who has spent so much time, love and energy helping me.  I think I am learning how to "grow up" in this program and be of service to others.  I pray for guidance and humility as I learn by doing.

So, this is my first email to my two new sponsees.  I have met with both of them, talked about doing a step study and now this is my midweek follow up to confirm that I'm here for them, the focus of what we are doing, and to give them (and me) a nudge to do our recovery work.

...  This week we are looking at Step 1 – We admitted we were powerless over food – that our lives had become unmanageable.

So haul out that Big Book and read the Doctor’s Opinion!  What do you think about the doctor’s statement “their [compulsive overeating] life seems the only normal one.  They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking [a few compulsive bites – food] which they see others taking with impunity”?  Is this your experience too?

Have a look at Lawrie’s questions in the step study.  We’re looking at our patterns of compulsive eating – so the what, the where and what triggers us.  If it helps, you can use the concentric circles of red food/activities/feelings, yellow food/activities/feelings, etc. to map it out. 

And if you want some fun in your recovery work (it can’t all be serious!), maybe think about creating a Pinterest board for all your inspiring quotes and bits and pieces of recovery.  On a day when you’re feeling low, it can be a big shot of inspiration to have a look through your own board, thoughts, etc.   If you want some instant gratification, you can see mine, I’ll send you the link in another message via Pinterest.   

Big hugs to you!  And if you’re struggling, that’s good.  That means you are working on change.  Remember our tools – writing, reading OA literature, etc etc and reaching out to other members!  If that seems impossible, maybe think of this:  “progress, not perfection”.  Try doing just the next right thing.  That’s all.  Some days, that’s all I can do.  But it works.

Blessed be.

For Today: I have what I need

There is no calamity greater than lavish desires - Lao-tzu

A few years ago I read a book called The Hungry Ghost by an addictions doctor who works with the poorest and most troubled people in the Downtown Eastside of Vancouver, Dr. Gabor Mate.  He writes about how addicted people have this empty hole in their soul that they try to fill with their substance of choice, whether it is food, alcohol, drugs, love.  But they are never satisfied.  The hole is a hungry ghost which leaves them even more empty.

The more I work on my recovery, the more I realize I do not hunger for food.  I am fortunate to have enough.  My eating is to try to fill other holes -- for love, for belonging, for connection -- all ghosts that food will never satisfy.

For today, I will remind myself that I have enough.  I have love, belonging and connection when I reach for it.  I have plenty of healthy food and water available.  Truly, I am blessed.  My hungry ghost is an illusion and does not serve me.

When I googled prayers for hungry ghosts, I am surprised at how many traditions have a response.  Whether it is Christian Catholics with the idea of souls in purgatory or Buddhists or Wiccans, there seems to be a shared sense that much of our pain is not entirely ours... that we carry with us suffering for other beings, ancestors, old souls, etc., and we can feed them and free both them and ourselves from suffering.

I liked this prayer over food from the Wiccan tradition:

May you never hunger.  

May you never thirst.   

May all your needs be fulfilled by this food.   

May you be satisfied with what you receive here. 

May you no longer suffer through my body... this body which is now wholly my own.

Blessed be.

For Today: Patience with the things that take time; Growth

No single event can awaken within us a stranger totally unknown to us.  To live is to be slowly born.  - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

I grew a little bit yesterday.  I had my first meeting with someone who asked me to sponsor them in OA.  And I realized in talking to her, how much I have learned.  And how much I still need to learn.  Both are growth.

The reading today has the lovely quote about "to live is to be slowly born" by the French war pilot and writer, Antoine de Saint-Exupery. 

It continues with the meditation:  "for today:  a flower takes a season to grow, a tree long years to mature.  Each growing thing, myself included, has a timetable for growth."  And the challenge is to accept this process and have growth unfold as it needs to.

Blessed be.