Stand Aside and Let God Work Through You

So far this morning I have cried, I have felt sick, and I have curdled my tea.  I have also wiped away my tears, prayed, and remade my tea.  Things can go wrong, feelings can come and go, and I am learning to stay the course.

I also have looked for inspiration across my For Today reader, various other writings.  And this one speaks to me today from the AA e-mail, Transitions Daily:

You should try to stand aside and let God work through you.  You should try not to block Him off by your own efforts, or prevent His spirit from working through you.  God desires your obedient services and your loyalty to the ideals of the new life you are seeking.  If you are loyal to God, He will give you protection against mistakes.  His spirit will plan for you and secure for you a sufficiency of all spiritual help.  You will have true victory and real success, if you will put yourself in the background and let God work through you.

I pray that I may not interfere with the working of God's spirit in me and through me.  I pray that I may give it full rein.

My program is really quite simple.  No bingeing or compulsive food behaviours.  Pray for willingness.  Be of service.  Look after myself with adequate sleep, water, nutritious food, friends and creativity.  I'm still not sure why this seems to be so hard.  It feels like I am battling a self-destruct sequence in my head.  And so I pray and try again every time I feel derailed.  Just because I feel derailed doesn't mean I have to act on it.  That's maybe the essence:  I am learning to act on life, not just react.

Blessed be.