The absurd man is he who never changes –
Auguste Barthelemy
I’m 44 years old and I
have been eating my emotional pain since I was about 9 or 10. That’s a long time of not dealing with my
pain. For I know that food doesn’t
really help. And the effects of my
eating are actually physically harmful.
Absurd. Yep, that’s about
right. What I am doing is absurd. I know it.
I accept the absurdity. It is
still hard to change it.
Program speak
would be to Let Go and Let God. Or I
can’t, God can, I’ll let God do it. At
the same time, the program is only for people who want it. Not need it.
And it only works if I work it.
Which I haven’t been. Going to
meetings is not enough. Talking to my
sponsor helps, but it is not enough.
Logging my food helps, but it is not enough. I have a deadly disease, I’m 280 pounds and I
have to work every tool I know to have even a fighting chance at regaining my
health, my sanity.
It’s crazy that I
struggle so much when the answers are quite simple. Simple but not easy. Absurdly simple really. So let’s not overthink this. Let’s do the absurdly simple things that add
up over time to big change.
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