Hope is the risk that
must be run. – Georges Bernanos
Have I tried and failed?
Try again. One day at a
time. Yesterday, I had some small degree
of hope. I did better on my time trial
on the treadmill. I did deadlifts for
the first time since the car accident.
But I binged on candy. My protein
was too low – I didn’t eat the chicken in the fridge, choosing to get pizza
instead. So, I’m not doing 100%. So what. I’m risking nothing every time I try again so long as I don’t let myself believe failure is accumulative and a mark of poor character. I beat myself so easily. It is my default.
I am starting to challenge those thoughts when they come. There is a slight glimmer of hope there.
Every morning, I pick myself up and try again. Some abstinence is better than none.
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