What does that mean? Temperance is consuming moderately, I think. Ironically, the first definition is "abstinence from alcoholic drink" and the synonyms are "teetotalism, abstinence, abstention, sobriety, self-restraint, prohibition". But I know from my own experience that abstinence is saying no to compulsive food behaviours, including certain foods that I can't just stop eating at a normal portion. Temperance, I think, suggests, limiting the amounts of certain foods or drink, even though the synonyms seem to confuse the two concepts considerably.
And the point for me is I can't do temperance for some foods. I just can't. I eat them until they are all gone. The only way I have any "temperance" around them is if I don't have them in the house and I have to go out and get them. Then, my "temperance" is limited only by how much of the food I purchase. Once I have it, I eat it all.
Today's reading concludes: "As a compulsive overeater, it is far easier for me to abstain from overindulgence in food than to try to become a 'normal' binger."
I'm getting better, maybe, at bingeing one day and then getting back on track the next. A binge used to trigger weeks of more bingeing. So I am starting to recover. But I know in my heart and in my body that these trips from abstinence into temporary bingeing (I really don't think I can call it temperance), are harmful. I feel slow, sticky, foggy. And this bingeing is not the normal eater's overindulgence. It is the compulsive overeater's flight from feelings. Just as a tiger doesn't change her stripes, my recovery is not to normal eating, it is to a new way of dealing with life on life's terms.
So the challenge is to find new ways of living with my emotions that manage the lows without excess sugar, fat and simple carbohydrates. I think until I have a reliable way of riding through my emotions, I will continue to binge. So this is my focus -- to cultivate new skills for old problems.
Blessed be.
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