For Today: Changing my Reward Orientation to Longer Term

From the AA daily email this morning -- rewards, immediate or sustaining:

Sometimes when I've become willing to do what I should have been doing all along, I want praise and recognition.  I don't realize that the more I'm willing to act differently, the more exciting my life is.  The more I am willing to help others, the more rewards I receive.  That's what practicing the principles means to me.  Fun and benefits for me are in the willingness to do the actions, not to get immediate results.  Being a little kinder, a little slower to anger, a little more loving makes my life better day by day. 

I have realized my impulse toward "I want what I want, when I want it" is part of my compulsive behaviour.  If I take the time to pause, to consider what I (and my Higher Power) want for me, I stop and often make a different choice.  It's in the moment, in a rush, in an emotional upset, I make poor decisions.

And when I have a day or so of making good decisions, I want praise and immediate rewards.  I expect the scale to have gone down a few numbers, even though I've only eaten clean for a few days and binged for weeks before.  I expect my body to respond immediately and positively instead of taking our time to respond to such wildly changing situations. 

For today, I want to slow down.  Be thoughtful.  Act as if I love myself.  And keep myself from harm's way.

Blessed be.