Change (why it should be different) and Acceptance

I'm doing this Desire Map daily planner and one of the questions for today hit hard:  the category was "want to change" and the prompt was "why should it be different?"

And I didn't initially want to write anything.  My house is still a mess and I want it to be nicer but I rebel.  I realized it's because it's an old power struggle with my mother about what my space should be like.  And that's old.  I don't have to clean up because my mother says so.  I can want to change my house because I deserve beautiful.

The reading in Voices of Recovery for today is:

I have never seen a person grow or change in a constructive direction when motivated by guilt, shame and/or hate.  - William Goldberg.

And the text accompanying this incredible observation is this:

If you eat too much you're a glutton.  If you weigh too much you won't be popular with the boys (or girls).  Heaping new guilt upon the old, I tried to reform myself.  I dieted, lost weight.  There, now I looked terrific.  But for how long?  And did I like myself any better, inside?

...

For today, I let no one -- including myself -- try to shame me into changing something about myself I wish were different.  I pray to be relieved of guilt and self-hate, and to accept and like myself exactly as I am.  That is where I can begin to change.

This.
Blessed be.