Nowhere can a man find a quieter or more untroubled retreat than in his own soul. - Marcus Aurelius
Aurelius was both right and wrong, in my experience. Sometimes there is no more troubled retreat than my own soul.
I went to a mindfulness meditation class yesterday. We did two 10 minutes meditations, one more guided than the other. My mind was bouncing around from what I need to do, to what I have done, to all sorts of things. I had to guide myself back to my breath countless times. The meditation teacher, Andrea, was kind in describing this when others in the class commented they had the same experience. She said this was good -- an opportunity to build the muscle of mindfulness with practice.
The For Today affirmation this morning is this: "For today, I need no formal knowledge to pray and meditate, just a conscious effort to open myself to whatever comes." This is a kind of acceptance I struggle with. Bingeing takes me away from the emotions that make me uncomfortable. Today, I am going to practice sitting with whatever comes.
This reminds me of the poem, The Guest House, by Rumi that one of my meditation teachers years ago read.
The Guest House
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
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