Tuesday 20 December 2016

Deadly Procrastination

Looking at my OA and AA literature on procrastination:
We ate to sate the fears, the anxieties, the angers, the disappointments.  We ate to escape the pressures of our problems or the boredom of everyday life.  We procrastinated, we hid, and we ate. - OA 12&12, Step 1 
*** 
Any action, no matter how small, will help us to overcome deadly procrastination. - OA 12&12, Step 4
***
To avoid falling into confusion over the names these defects should be called, let's take a universally recognized list of major human failings - the Seven Deadly Sins of pride, greed, lust, anger, gluttony, envy and sloth.  It is not be accident that pride heads the procession.  For pride, leading to self-justification, and always spurred by conscious or unconscious fears, is the basic breeder of most human difficulties, the chief block to true progress.  Pride lures us into making demands upon ourselves or upon others which cannot be met without perverting or misusing our God-given instincts.  When the object of our instincts for sex, security, and society becomes the sole object of our lives, then pride steps in to justify our excesses.
All these failings generate fear, a soul-sickness in its own right.  Then fear, in turn, generates more character defects.  Unreasonable fear that our instincts will not be satisfied drives us to covet the possessions of others, to lust for sex and power, to become angry when our instinctive demands are threatened, to be envious when the ambitions of others seems to be realized while ours are not.  We eat, drink, and grab for more of everything than we need, fearing we shall never have enough.  And with genuine alarm at the prospect of work, we stay lazy.  We loaf and procrastinate, or at best work grudgingly and under half steam.  These fears are the termites that ceaselessly devour the foundations of whatever sort of life we try to build. - AA 12&12, Step 4
***
Or we may just procrastinate, telling ourselves the time is not yet, when in reality we have already passed up many a fine chance to right a serious wrong.  Let's not talk prudence when practicing evasion.  - AA 12&12, Step 9
***
While gluttony is less than ruinous, we have a milder word for that too; we call it 'taking our comfort.'  We live in a world riddled with envy.  To a greater or less degree, everybody is infected with it.  From this defect we must surely get a warped yet definite satisfaction.  Else why would we consume such great amounts of time wishing for what we have not, rather than working for it, or angrily looking for attributes we shall never have, instead of adjusting to the fact, and acting it?  And how often we work hard with no better motive than to be secure and slothful later on -- only we call that 'retiring.'  Consider, too, our talents for procrastination, which is really sloth in five syllables.  Nearly anyone could submit a good list of such defects as these, and few of us would seriously think of giving them up, at least until they cause us excessive misery. - AA 12&12, Step 6
***
One thing I keep learning in various ways is how differently I can feel after taking one small action to change my circumstances.  Usually, when I am frozen and immobilized by fear, I think of 100 things I need to do, should do, or have to do.  Yet I do nothing and hate myself more.  Often someone else gently reminds me that I only need to do one thing to break the cycle.  I don't need to job five miles; a short walk around the block is a start to clearer thinking.  The house doesn't need to be spotless, but making the bed makes my life feel more manageable.  I might not be able to adhere to that 'perfect' food plan, but am I willing to stop eating right now?  It is the long view that overwhelms me.  If I remember to pray for the willingness to do one small thing, I am living evidence that mountains can be moved by results.  I pray to be willing to do something for my recovery today.  I pray to let go of the results and be willing to take action. - Voices of Recovery, June 3
***
I do not need to fear failure.  I need, rather, the peace of mind that comes with taking the action I have been putting off. - For Today, June 16
***
What if I examine myself for just one aspect of this day that seems out of balance?  Has procrastination disturbed my serenity?  Has something about my use of money been undermining my calm?  Has avoiding my Higher Power put a strain on me?  Where has today's chief discomfort been? 
It is a one-day-at-a-time program.
...
What bothered me so today need not bother me so much tomorrow, because I looked honestly at myself about it, with my Higher Power, tonight. - Voices of Recovery, October 28


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