Saturday 5 December 2015

For Tonight - Day 1 (I will do day 1 as many times as it takes)

Tonight, I am satisfied with my day.  I ate clean.  I worked hard at the gym.  I was kind to other people.  I was (mostly) kind to myself.

A - abstinence was good - day 1.  I put my abstinence first.  I tracked my food and water.
E - exercise.  Trained at the gym; also a five minute heart rate trial as well as 10 minutes of treadmill.
I - I worked my program today.  I had a nap given I slept less than three hours last night.
O - Others.  I helped M. with his English.  I made chili for me and for MC.  I talked to my parents.
U - Uncover?  Today, I uncovered (again!) that I feel better when I eat clean, get enough rest and exercise.  Go figure.  I also feel better when I am kind to myself.

Resentments?  I am resenting B for not spending time with me this weekend but I need to let that go - he has other obligations that are very important to him.  I resent Adidas for making their sport t-shirts so tight, despite their size chart. 

Anger?  I am angry with myself that I regained 40 pounds I worked so hard to lose.  But this is my process and I need to forgive myself for struggling. 

Progress, not perfection.  It is not uncommon to gain and lose and gain again in a health recovery journey.  Lots of people do it.  I am not special in this way.  And I am not a failure, either.  I just have more to learn.  And I haven't given up so I can be proud of that.

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